WARNING: INCOMING LENGTHY EXPLANATION!

Some time ago, I decided to create a sprite alter ego for fanfic purposes, the better to traumatize the Mainframers. (I'd show you the fanfic in question, but although it was a good first effort, I'm kind of embarrassed by it now and should probably rewrite it.) This sprite, depicted at left, is a Guardian cadet like everyone-and-her-kid-sister's self-insertion character, and by an astounding coincidence we share the same nickname, although I later decided that hers stands for Value and not Valerie. She's more a manifestation of my mind and emotional maturity than a direct analog of myself (for instance, she's in a lot better shape than my own body, and not anywhere near an adult yet).

At least... that's how she started out. She's evolved beyond her original story, and somehow, along the road, she decided to become the Academy's answer to Jonathan Schwarz, better known as "Skippy".

This isn't an original idea by any means, but it's a heck of a lot of fun. I'll add more later when I have access to the file, this is just what I can remember off the top of my head, but remember: This is a list of what she's been told not to do, so go ahead and tell her!

To start you off:

• I will not address the Prime Guardian as "Toots".
• I will not ask the Prime Guardian for horsey rides.
• Reality Distortion Engines are not for recreational use.
• Using a jetball court to play "3D croquet" is a bad idea.

_________________
My purpose in life is to put other people's neuroses into perspective.

I suddenly feel old. Val was one of the first things I remembered when I joined the Java
Hutt. You've had her around for quite a long time. I should read your stuff again.

Yeah, she came along pretty early in my fandom. I use her as a roleplaying NPC now. She's no longer Bob's cousin; I only did that as an excuse to have her visit Mainframe, or I wouldn't have had a story. Think of this as AU Val.

Anyway, got any additions to the list?

_________________
My purpose in life is to put other people's neuroses into perspective.

How about - I will not hang an "Infect Me" sign on the the Prime Guardian's butt.

*giggle* Very nice.

It occurs to me that Turbo wouldn't hang around the Academy all that much, as he's got the entire Collective to run. Value must be making the most of the times he does show up.

_________________
My purpose in life is to put other people's neuroses into perspective.

_________________
You take the blue icon & the game ends. You exit in Mainframe & you believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red icon and you stay in the Gamecube, and I show you how deep the internet goes...

AHAHAHAHAHA. You, sir, are brilliant. Mind you, the first three are more likely to be perpetrated by a friend of hers. Besides, can you imagine Val ever actually earning a keytool?

What the heck is a paradigm shift? It's not exactly a specific phrase, and they gave absolutely no explanation. They only got away with it because "paradigm" is a very scary word.

_________________
My purpose in life is to put other people's neuroses into perspective.

I always wondered that myself. They never explained it in 'Racing the Clock' nor how they survived it's apparently lethal effects.

File under MacGuffin.

_________________
You take the blue icon & the game ends. You exit in Mainframe & you believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red icon and you stay in the Gamecube, and I show you how deep the internet goes...

That was in "High Code", actually. How they survived... well, I'd imagine Lens either never finished implementing it, or he cancelled it. However, they never even directly said it was lethal. Just that it was bad and "I can't let this happen!" There was NOTHING more specific than that. So, seriously, WTF.

_________________
My purpose in life is to put other people's neuroses into perspective.

Oh, waaaaaait! You're confusing it with the "infinite data else-if loop". I don't know how they survived that one, but what it is is easy; it's a buggy code structure.

Their terminology was a bit off, actually; what they're talking about is a loop (could be a for loop, a do loop, a while loop, an until loop... they're all variations on the same thing). The loop says that as long as a certain condition holds true, repeat the instructions in the loop. The key there is that at some point, something has to happen to change the status of that condition. (The condition in question would be what they're referring to here as an if-else statement, although it's not coded as such.) If the condition never changes, the loop repeats forever (or until the program crashes), and the program gets stuck and gobbles up all your system resources. Apparently, this takes the form of a toroidal singularity.

_________________
My purpose in life is to put other people's neuroses into perspective.